Not all pain is visible. Some of it hides beneath the surface, tucked quietly behind smiles, small talk, and trying to "look okay."
And here's the hard part: when pain isn't obvious, when it doesn't come with a cast, a crutch, or a hospital bracelet, people don't always understand. That misunderstanding can feel almost as painful as the condition itself.

Let's talk about invisible pain.
Here are just a few examples:

Trigeminal Neuralgia: Often called the "suicide disease," this nerve condition causes sudden, electric shock-like pain in the face. It can feel like being struck by lightning, repeatedly, and ranks a 9 to 10 on the pain scale. I live with this one.

Fibromyalgia: Widespread muscle pain, fatigue, and brain fog. Often dismissed, but very real. Pain scale: 5 - 8.

Chronic Migraine: More than just a headache. This can come with nausea, vision disturbances, and unbearable pain. Pain scale: 6 -10.

Endometriosis: Debilitating pelvic pain that can interfere with daily life and fertility. Pain scale: 7 - 9.

Mental Health Conditions (Depression, Anxiety, PTSD): These impact the body and the brain. Pain isn't always physical, but it's just as valid. Pain scale: varies, often internalized.

Lupus, MS, Lyme, Long COVID, Autoimmune Disorders: Conditions that wear on the body slowly, sometimes invisibly, but with chronic exhaustion, joint pain, and flares that can knock you off your feet. Pain scale: 4–9 depending on the day.

How to Speak the Pain (Without Feeling Like a Burden)

If you're someone who suffers from invisible pain, it can be hard to tell the people around you that you're not okay. Especially when you've been taught to be "tough" or "positive." But strength doesn't mean silence.
Here are a few gentle ways to let people know you're struggling, without feeling like a crybaby (you're not!):

"I'm having a flare-up today, and I could really use a little extra kindness."

"I'm doing my best, but my pain is high right now. Just need some space and support."

"This is one of those days where my invisible illness feels very loud. Thanks for understanding."

Use a code word or number system with loved ones. "Pain Level 8 today" might be all you need to say.

Sometimes just saying, "Today is not an easy day" is enough.

How Loved Ones Can Help Us Feel Heard

If you're on the other side, watching someone you care about suffer and not knowing what to do, thank you for being here. Here's what helps more than you know:

Believe us. We're not exaggerating.

Don't try to fix it. Just be there. Sometimes "That sounds really hard" is the most powerful sentence.

Offer little things. "Can I pick something up for you?" or "Want to cancel plans and rest?" goes a long way.

Check in, even when we look okay. Because invisible doesn't mean gone.

You Are Not Alone

Living with invisible pain doesn't make you weak, it makes you a warrior with a very full plate, doing your best to show up in the world anyway.
You don't have to prove your pain. You don't have to justify your experience. And you don't have to smile through it all.

Let's normalize listening, validating, and seeing each other, especially when it's hard to see what's underneath.

With so much love and ever-present optimism,
Lizzie